Expert article-Frustration

Have you ever been frustrated before?

Have you felt it? You are trying to get to work and drop off your kids at school. Whether it be the pot holes in the road, nasty weather, or the drop off line of cars at the school, we experience frustration in life.

            All of us have felt frustrated, but how would you define it? What actually is frustration? Simply put, frustration is a block to a goal. You are trying to get something accomplished, but something else gets in the way.

Frustration is a mindful aspect. The school drop off line is just crazy. The thought of being late implodes your mind. You are frustrated. Unfortunately, almost always, frustration leads to the behavioral aspect of aggression.

So, let’s define aggression quickly before getting back to frustration. There are four types of aggression, directed towards yourself or another person. The four types are: verbal aggression, physical aggression, hostility, and anger.

A few things can influence the strength and behavioral outcome(s) of frustration. Three of those things include; inborn trait level of aggression, level and ability of emotional regulation, and emotional transfer. Everyone is born with different levels of these psychological concepts. This is why some people are better at dealing with frustrating events than other people.

Some individual’s inborn aggression level is high. It’s a part of who they are and ingrained in their personality. Others are as sweet as can be and don’t seem to ever show aggression. The higher the level of aggression in a person, the less frustration it takes for them to blow up. The aggression threshold is less in a high aggression natured person for frustrating events.

Another aspect that can influence frustration strength is emotional regulation. People that blow up, yell, scream, kick things, and show aggression may have low emotional regulation. If emotions cannot be regulated or controlled, aggressive outcomes will likely be higher. Low self-regulated individuals also show other emotions easily (sadness, happiness). Someone may have high inborn aggression, yet they are able to control their aggression because they are great at regulating their emotions.

The last aspect is emotion transfer. Let’s say you just lost your job and then the neighbor calls to tell you your dog escaped the backyard. Negative feelings from losing your job might transfer to the phone call with your neighbor. Feelings and mood from the first event may transfer to the next event.   

Before words come out of your mouth or you use sign language, become aware! Your best defense against displaying behavior you might regret due to frustration is awareness. When you start feeling frustrated, become aware of your state of mind. Think about how your outcome behavior effects your environment and those around you. Diffusing frustration does make a difference in lives. Especially your own!